Abysmal Record: The Catholic Church has failed to behead one heretic this year!

From studying the Catholic Catechism to reading the vaunted words present in the Code of Canon Law to Aquinas's Summa Theologica, there were hours upon hours of Catholic fun in the Elliot household. But nothing ever compared to the fun that we had attending the Church's local beheadings of heretical members!!! 

I even remember a year when everyone was in lock step with Rome which created a deficit in heretics and worried Church elders that they might have to cancel the Christmas Day beheadings. It was horrible! It wasn't until a local priest and faithful member of the Diocesan order, Father Patrick O'Malley, had a remarkably genius idea; have a heretic lottery, that the festivities were saved. It as simple, the first five names drawn would be beheaded. Needless to say we all were eager to participate. Although there were claims of cronyism when the local Monsignor was the first name drawn. I still think the beheading lottery was rigged!!! But all in all, it did work out well, we had a great time and Father O'Malley after the Monsignor's beheading was appointed to the position. 

But I digress...

Now it seems under the inept leadership of Pope Francis,  I report with great sadness that the Catholic Church in its lack of support for "intolerance and extremism" has failed to behead ONE heretic!!! What the hell!!!

For the most intolerant and extreme religion in the world, this is a rather embarrassing statistic. 
It appears that the Catholic Church, widely recognized as the most uncompromising and dogmatic among the world’s major religions, is about to close out the year without executing a single person. 
As everyone knows, the Catholic Church is a religion of strict doctrine, ruling every aspect of each individual Catholic’s life from the Vatican with an iron fist, while at the same time relentlessly imposing its beliefs on the rest of society. 
Yet for some reason the Catholic Church has had an abysmal year at the chopping block, failing to kill a single one of its billion-plus members for failing to live in strict adherence to her teachings. On top of that, the Vatican has put to death exactly zero people from other religions for refusing to convert to Catholicism. 
Even some followers of Islam, universally known as a religion of peace and tolerance, have found time on the weekends to behead a few non-believers. And yet the Catholic Church, far from resembling anything having to do with peace or tolerance, has taken incompetence to a whole new level when it comes to imposing its beliefs. 
Sure, 2015 is a new year and all, but let’s face it. When it comes to intolerance, we’re pathetic.



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